This achievement will take a while and a lot of it will be spent staring and waiting. It took me about an hour or so.

You'll need to start a 'Born Again' run for this one. When you ascend, just beside the reincarnate button on the right - there is a challenge button. Click that and select 'Born Again'. This will start your run without any upgrades unlocked and it will be as if you started anew.

From here on, you CANNOT click the big cookie. A way to tell if you did is to look in the 'stats' display and check Hand-made cookies: 0. If it says 1 or more, you have to start over.

So, sit at the game and wait for a golden cookie to spawn. It takes 5-15 min to spawn one. You want one that gives you a flat number of cookies (13 each) so it will take you at least 2 of these to get enough for a 'cursor'.

Once you have that, passive income starts. From there on, just keep going and you'll eventually get it but make sure you do not click the big cookie at any point. Once you reach 1 million cookies baked (total baked in stats, not just what's banked), you'll get both True Neverclick and Neverclick if you don't already have it.

You can take out a loan within the 'Stock Market' minigame. To unlock the Stock Market, upgrade your 'Banks' to lv1 by spending a sugar lump. Once you have that, you will need to upgrade your 'office size' (the thing that takes cursors) past the 200 cursor one (requires your cursors to be lv4). That will give you the option to take the first loan (+50% CPS for 2h, -75% CPS for 4h, costs 20% of your banked cookies).

At the very end of a run after you've sold off, spent your chocolate egg, etc, and you're just about to ascend - buy one bank, take out that loan, then ascend. You'll get the achievement after you've reincarnated.

You can only do this in a "Born Again" run. After ascending, you cannot buy ANY upgrades at all. Your only sources of income must only be big cookie clicks, golden cookie spawns, and 'buildings'. If you aren't sure that you bought one, check your stats page under the 'Upgrades' header. It should say Upgrades unlocked: 0/613 (0%). If there is 1 or more, you will not get this achievement.

As you may guess, this takes quite a while to complete. One quirk you may notice is that once you get a mine, clicking the big cookie gives so little income due to being 'stuck' at 1 per click that it essentially becomes meaningless to do so.

You could skip the big cookie clicks to get the True Neverclick achievement although it will make this run take considerably longer as you lose your biggest income at the start (clicking) without the ability to upgrade it. As I mentioned in the guides on that page, you'll have to wait for 2 golden cookie spawns to get 13 each to get started with a cursor. At least once you're past the 1mil baked mark, you'll get this achievement (and Neverclick) and can actually click the big cookie.

You could also combine doing this with the When the cookies ascend just right achievement as well if you don't already have it. You'll have a great opportunity to do so due to already having a minimal click income; just buy some flat building upgrades to speed things along a bit once you pass the 1b mark.

If you really hate yourself, you could get all three of the above mentioned achievements alongside of this one within one run.

In any case, you'll get this after reaching 1 billion total baked cookies (not just in your bank).

Preamble:

This one is a pain to do if you've got billions/trillions of prestige but it is possible, even without unslotting your permanent upgrades or doing a born again run. I will write this guide as if you have a 'standard' perm build (one 20x x-illion fingers + one kitten in permanent upgrade + a 10% multiplier cookie + two unrelated ones) but removing these will make the achievement easier (at the cost of having to build up enough on a later run to reacquire these). When I did mine, I had about 3T prestige level and I kept my upgrades so you really can't be 'too far ahead' to do this.

Upgrades during the run:

First, ascend and reincarnate as a normal run. From here, DO NOT click 'Buy all upgrades'. Also, avoid upgrading any of these:

• heavenly chip secret (way too fast)
• cursor upgrades (% mouse CPS, CPS added to click like plastic mouse, and x-illion fingers. You want as much precision as possible with your cookie clicks and cursors kept as low as possible).
• too many kitten upgrades (too powerful)
• any of the "% production multiplier" upgrades (buffs your clicks as well)
• bingo hall or grandmapocolypse. (wrinkers get in the way)
• no seasonal upgrades as they're mostly % based. If you've got keepsakes unlocked, do a few quick ascends to 'clear it out'.

So what's left? Flat building upgrades. With permanent upgrades having one X-illion fingers + one 10% cookie, you do 2.2 cookies per click or if you un-slotted them, you should have 1 cookie per click. Your cursor income should be kept at a minimum.

The goal is to have 1 trillion showing on the bank (not total cooked thankfully).

So, lets get started:

• First, turn off 'short numbers' in options. You need that precision showing.
• Start normally. Click the cookie enough to start buying (basic) cursors, grandmas, etc. Buy only the flat building upgrades (except cursors) and click golden cookies. Just play through. This will likely take you a couple hours or so depending on your milk and achievement levels. You can speed it up a bit by using a few early kitten upgrades (as long as you have no '% CPS to click' upgrades anywhere) but keep in mind that it's multiplicative so you can easily become too powerful doing this and have to reset the run. Everyone's save is different so you'll have to get a feel of where it becomes too much.
• Once you reach about 1 billion CPS, start saving. Stop clicking golden cookies (a badly timed GC will ruin your run).
• Add together how much your buildings will sell for and subtract that from 1T. So if you'll get 50b from selling, you want to sell everything off around 940B or so. Or just sell off everything at 900B to be safe.
• If you've gone over, buy one expensive building (whichever will get you closest to 1T after purchasing) then immediately sell it to drop yourself under. Rinse and repeat. Or if you've got some building upgrades that will get you close and not boost your cursors or click are even better.
• Once you're just under 1T, depending how far away you are, buy a lower building (ie: grandma, farm, etc) to inch yourself closer slowly. Then sell once you're comfortable. Again if you overshoot it, buy a more expensive building then immediately sell it to drop cookies.
• Once you're within range of hitting it with a reasonable amount of clicks only, sell all so you're at 0 CPS. Remember to include the sale price to your calculations.
• Then, just click to 1T. If you opted to keep your perm upgrades and end up overshooting it, buy and sell a cursor. This is why you kept cursor income low. If it generates too quickly due to upgrades, use a grandma instead (or a farm, etc).
• Repeat until you're showing exactly "1,000,000,000,000" on the bank. This can take a while sometimes; especially if you've got a few cursor upgrades by accident but as long as you're careful, you'll get it.
• Ascend. You'll get the achievement after reincarnating.

Congrats!

If you've unslotted the perm upgrades, you'll have to get them again so your next run will be slower than usual (but hopefully not too terrible due to milk level). If not, you've saved yourself some time and can just continue on as normal.

Quick and easy achievements

Here you go

Go to the stats page. You can find this to the right of the "What's in a name" (which looks like a golden scroll) and to the left of the 'Tabloid addiction' achievements. Click the 'empty achievement slot' and it'll give it to you.

Tiny cookie

Go to the stats page. Look where it says "Cookies in bank", then a small cookie icon, then however many cookies you have in the bank. Click that small cookie icon.

Tabloid addiction

At the top between the four menu buttons there is a 'news banner'. Click that news banner 50 times to get this achievement.

Cookie-dunker

You will need to be playing in windowed mode to do this. Resize the game window so the big cookie is 'dunked' (placed inside) in the milk, it'll take a second or two then pop.

Wrinkler poker

'Normal' wrinklers only pop if you click them 3 times in rapid succession (within a second or so). So, if you wait about a second between click; you can keep 'clicking' one indefinitely without killing them.

'Poke' one this way 50 times in a row. I waited about 2 seconds between clicks to be safe.

It's a bit boring but at least you only have to do this once.

In her likeness

First you need to unlock the new 'You' building and get one. Once you do, you'll get the banner for customizing a 'character'. You need to make your custom character look like a 'grandma'.

Click 'customize' button, then paste this: 9,1,1,3,0,2,0 and import. It should pop for you. If not, try adjusting a skin or something; it seems a bit fickle on what should make it pop (or maybe everyone has different numbers for different people). I had tried a few codes that didn't work previously before finding this one.

If it just doesn't import, try this (manually). This one worked for me:

• Hair: 10
• Hair color: 2
• Skin color: 2
• Head shape: 4
• Face: 1
• Extra-A: 3
• Extra-B: 1

Seasonal achievements

Note: These achievements are only able to be earned during their respective season. However, once you unlock the Season switcher ascension upgrade, you're able to switch to any particular season at will (for a cookie cost) making all of these much easier to earn without needing to wait for that particular time of the year.

Valentines

Lovely cookies

You just need to buy all seven valentine cookies during the season. The baked requirements only count during the season as well.

• Pure heart cookies, unlocks when you've baked 50,000 cookies and costs 1 million base.
• Ardent heart biscuits, unlocks when you've baked 50 million cookies and costs 1 billion base.
• Sour heart biscuits, unlocks when you've baked 50 billion cookies and costs 1 trillion base.
• Weeping heart biscuits, unlocks when you've baked 50 trillion cookies and costs 1 quadrillion base.
• Golden heart biscuits, unlocks when you've baked 50 quadrillion cookies and costs 1 quintillion base.
• Eternal heart biscuits, unlocks when you've baked 50 quintillion cookies and costs 1 sextillion base.
• Prism heart biscuits, unlocks when you've baked 50 sextillion cookies and costs 1 septillion base.

Easter

The hunt is on, Egging on, Mass Easteria, Hide & seek champion

These eggs are unlocked only when the Easter season is active

They're discovered by either clicking golden cookies or popping wrinklers (with a lower chance). After finding one, they'll be in the upgrade screen. Each one that you discover lowers the chance for the next to pop so it can take a while to get them all sometimes.

A great strategy to help find these eggs quicker on future runs is to slot the Omelette in one of your permanent upgrade slots.

Remember to save the chocolate egg for just before you ascend! (vault it so you don't accidentally upgrade it with 'buy all')

Halloween

Spooky cookies

These cookies are unlocked during the Halloween season.

They're discovered by either clicking golden cookies or popping wrinklers (with a lower chance). After finding one, they'll be in the upgrade screen. Each one that you discover lowers the chance for the next to pop so it can take a while to get them all sometimes.

A great strategy to help find these eggs quicker on future runs is to slot the Omelette egg from Easter in one of your permanent upgrade slots.

Christmas

Let it snow

You get these cookies from catching the reindeer that jump across the screen during Christmas season.

Each one you get lowers the chance of unlocking the next one so by the time you've got 6/7 it can take a while. Some runs I've got them all by 15, others it takes over 50-60.

Reindeer sleigher

Click 200 reindeer during the Christmas season in one ascension. It resets the counter when you ascend.

I just had the left side of the game open in the background while I did other things on the right side of the screen and clicked as I saw them come up.